Growing Pains

I'm in pain.

Emotional my heart cant breathe

My mind is physically causing these pains

Restless sleeping

wishing and waiting and hoping

putting it all together in hopes to emotionally detach myself from something. . .

something that slowly eats away my soul

slowly makes me feel that I am not as good as the other

or as bad as you want me to be

The pain runs through my viens and after every sip

and every puff...

The pain slowly exhales

But only for that moment I am painLESS

Less tired, less focused on my reason for my presence for my existence

for my life. ..

I speak these words and I talk this game

but when I start to feel that pain again. . .

I begin to wish and to wait to hope

that finally I breathe again.